Putting Baby Up For Adoption?
I am a little over 7 mo prego. I have been thinking about it since I was about 3 mo or so. I have finally gone into the process of putting the new baby up. show more I am a little over 7 mo prego. I have been thinking about it since I was about 3 mo or so. I have finally gone into the process of putting the new baby up for adoption. I have 100% support from my mom, both my grandmothers, and two of my closest friends. My dad keeps telling me to really consider what I am doing. Aunt wants to adopt baby, but she is bi-polar and on heavy meds. I told her no, and now she is calling me selfish. I already have a 3 yr old and I am not financially or emotionally capable of handling a 2nd child, and I might never be. I cannot give 2 kids the life I can barely give 1. Father of baby (and older child)on run from law, and will not fight adoption because he would have to come back to state he has trouble in to do so. I know that what I am doing is right. I just wish that my father and aunt would be a bit more supportive. I do not want this to cause a riff. what do I do to make them realize that I am thinking of these kids and not myself?
TexJeff- I am not even on any public assistance and I do not want to be. So keep your wise a s s comments to yourself and get a life. show more TexJeff- I am not even on any public assistance and I do not want to be. So keep your wise a s s comments to yourself and get a life.
I was married to their father, and his legal troubles came about shortly before we split. This was why we split up. So, please, no wise remarks about. show more I was married to their father, and his legal troubles came about shortly before we split. This was why we split up. So, please, no wise remarks about their father. I m not with him and I do not plan to go back to him. I know he will not help out with support and I don t really care. So far, I have managed just fine on my own (I pay for private health insurance and I provide for my daughter with no one s help. I am not a welfare case and I do not plan to be. I do not want to rely on everyone else s help.
First of all, I commend you for thinking of your children first. You seem to have a great head on your shoulders and have thought things through.
Have you contacted an adoption agency yet? If not, find one in your area as soon as possible. They will provide you free counseling and help you make your final decision. If you do decide to place your child, they will then help you find a family. They will also be very helpful in helping you to deal with those who don t support your decision.
You will most likely be given a book of potential adoptive parents and you will be able to read their profiles. From there, you can then decide if you want to meet them to help you make your decision about which family. Do not worry about the character of the adoptive parents, as they have had thorough criminal and financial background checks, a home visit, and references from their friends and family. Homestudies are pretty extensive and it as way to ensure that the family you choose has already been approved by the state and are indeed decent folks. You can get the rest of the feel of that when you meet them.
You can choose closed, semi-open, or open adoption. This is a decision that you and the adoptive family make together. We are in an open adoption – we see our children s birthmother on a regular basis, we send her pictures, make frequent phone calls to each other, and she s even been to our house several times.
My children s birthmother also had other children and knew she could not give the new babies the life she wanted them to have at this time in her life. I always tell everyone that if she had decided to parent them, they would have never have had to want for love. She is crazy about her babies! And in making her decision for her children, she also takes comfort that she made my husband and I two very happy people who would be childless otherwise.
You sound like you really do have a good support system in place. I wish you the best and much peace about your decision!
You are making the right decision I placed my child for I placed my child for adoption four months ago. Just make sure are educated about your rights in. show more You are making the right decision I placed my child for I placed my child for adoption four months ago. Just make sure are educated about your rights in this process. A bit of advice from someone who has been there stay away from private adoptions they are bad news. I went through an agency that is centered around the birthmom not the adoptive parents. I lived in Texas and went through an agency in Florida. I am so happy with my decision of the agency that I chose. Be aware that by state laws you are entitled to support during your pregnancy and usually up to 6 weeks afterward. It least thats the Florida law. My agency also gets you counseling during and afterwards and will help you go to school if you want. You will be in my prayers.
Source(s): birthmom Home At Last Adoption Agency in Cocoa Beach Florida 188875adopt or 3218682229 website:homeatlastadoption.com
suzy 1 decade ago
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I think what you are doing is wonderful and extremely sacrificial. You are putting the needs of this child first and realizing that you cannot provide for. show more I think what you are doing is wonderful and extremely sacrificial. You are putting the needs of this child first and realizing that you cannot provide for all of those needs. Thank you for being so selfless. Follow your heart you are making the right decision. My husband and I are trying to adopt, and it is so hard to have no control over when we will get a child or be chosen by a birth mom. I wish you the best of luck, and if you are still looking for a couple for your child perhaps we could talk, if not us I can at least tell you which agency we are using and you could view the profiles of other couples hoping to adopt online. The most important thing for you right now is to choose the family you think is right for your baby. God bless you will be in my prayers. Once again thank you for being so selfless.
JJ 1 decade ago
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You are doing the right thing, both for you and your child, You have been given some good advice here, so I will just add to it to say that you can choose. show more You are doing the right thing, both for you and your child, You have been given some good advice here, so I will just add to it to say that you can choose the openness of the adoption, and you can always know how your baby is being raised. The adoptive couple must go through a rigorous screening process if you go through a reputable adoption agency.
Ask your adoption social worker to speak to your father. Your aunt doesn t sound stable, why would he want her to raise this baby?
Stick to your guns. You ARE doing the right thing! Bless you!
LaraSue 1 decade ago
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As an adoptive parent, l want you to know how strong I think you are for making a difficult decision that you feel is best for your baby. I m sure. show more As an adoptive parent, l want you to know how strong I think you are for making a difficult decision that you feel is best for your baby.
I m sure your father is just concerned that you may regret your decision one day. Just reassure him that you ve thought it through and feel you re doing the right thing for everyone involved. It may take time, but eventually he ll accept it.
As for your Aunt, it sounds like she is dealing with issues of her own, and is in no position to raise a baby. It may be hard to make her unhappy with you, but you are certainly not selfish for wanting the best possible situation for your child. Maybe have your mom or grandmother speak with them and explain that what you need right now is their love and support.
Best of luck to you.
Angela R 1 decade ago